The alter ego of The Pragmatic Personal Trainer...
The PRATTISH Personal Trainer
Putting my personal profit above your health!
"I fell through a bar years ago and injured my shoulder, doctors said it would mend itself within 6-8 weeks but what do they know? I went to see THE PRATTISH PT instead and he's had me on expensive pills ever since. I've given him £205 per month since 1989, it's a bargain"
TRIGGER | Only Fools and Horses
About The PRATTISH PT
Qualifications
- Nutritionist, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist
- Anyone can call themselves one of these so I night as well too!
Philosphy
- I do the same bloody thing with each of my clients
- Then tweak it ever so slightly to make you feel special
Experience
- Only 2 clients but 47,000 followers
- Who needs experience when you've got followers?
"THE PRATTISH PT is a very kind, considerate and attentive trainer with dreamy eyes, big pecs, incredibly strong biceps and a very tender touch. He's one of the best I've had and I've had plenty and I mean plenty!"
SAMANTHA JONES | Sex and the City
"I train with THE PRATTISH PT mainly to get tips on how to pull birds, thanks to him I've now slept with 10,000 of 'em. He also supplies me with these little blue diamond-shaped pills which really help my stamina if you know what I mean!"
JAY | The Inbetweeners
SERVICES
SUPER FOOD SUPER SELLER
I will sell you super foods despite there being no such thing. The term super foods has been made up by marketing men rather than scientists. I know you guys are desperate for some sort of magic bullet and I prey on that desperation and profit from it!
FAD DIETS
I treat wellness like fashion...I like to stay on trend. So I go from one fad diet to another and make my clients do the same ,even if they are crap or even dangerous! I know you guys are desperate to lose weight, so I prey on that desperation and profit from it!
MY EXCLUSIVE EXERCISE PLAN
I will sell you my exclusive exercise plan and simultaneously indoctrinate you into believing my methods are the best without question. I won't inform you of the benefits of other training methods. Thus ensuring you become part of my tribe and can have largely pointless arguments with enthusiasts from other exercise tribes!
DETOXES
Despite our liver and kidneys ridding the body of so called toxins and there being no need for detoxes. I will still flog them to you because I know many of you are fearful of these toxins so I prey on that fear and profit from it!
ALTERNATIVE ALLERGY TESTS
Why rely on evidence-based tests carried out by medically trained doctors to diagnose your food allergy when I can do it with an overpriced, over hyped alternative allergy tests which have no scientific backing and may even be harmful!
SUPPLEMENTS
I sell loads of overpriced supplements despite most people not needing them , and any benefit they do experience is largely due to placebo anyway! Despite this I am happy to sell supplements because I make a tidy profit from them!
"I love my 1 on 1 sessions with THE PRATTISH PT he always leaves me hot and sweaty if you know what I mean!"
DORIEN | Birds of a Feather
"THE PRATTISH PT does a great job at getting me in shape and ready to go for the Territorial Army, making sure the enemy does not discover my camp and enter my hole"
GARETH | The Office
2 for 1 SPECIAL OFFER
- 2 people train for the price of 1!
- Train with a partner and split the cost!
- Excellent results at half the price!